Listen to your head, your hearts a fucking idiot.

In a perfect world, I said yes.

In reality, I know the answer should have been no.

Yet, after saying yes, I realised a bit too late. I no longer meant yes anymore.

I feel I've overcome a milestone. Something you wouldn't understand. For you are just a boy.

And again

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.”

Bob Marley

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

Federer VS Nadal

The Australian open, what a riveting match that is.

Like everything else, when the balls in your court, you have to make a move. Take a chance. But what if you can't predict where the balls going to land? It can't sit on the net forever. Do you, take a chance? or let it pass by?

If life is about learning and growing, is making a mistake a step towards you becoming a better person?

I just don't think I'm strong enough to accept the mistake when it happens. Once someone hits rock bottom, and slightly recovers, they unconsciously protect and lead themselves away from situations that may guide them back to that dark and lonely place.

I guess that leaves me undecided.

hello old friend

I had the strangest dream lastnight. He was in it again, like usual, but this time it felt more real. It took me back almost a year ago, the same old routine, like nothing has changed.

I always say, there is only one constant in everyone's life, and that, in fact, is change.

Be the change you want to see in the world. Don't sit around waiting for someone or something to do it for you, take the lead in your own life, I feel we are all entitled to that.

Emotions are what makes us humans weak. Not a soul will ever get close enough to make me fall again.

Thoughts?

So, Im blogging. Its like taking a step 5 years back, or something similar.

I removed my Facebook account, I don't like social networking, you're not really networking, people just want to look like they have a lot of friends. Plus I find people tend to rant on about the little things in life, etc etc. A mindless babble without really thinking about the consequences.

Moving along, college starts soon enough so Im taking a mini vacation to the north coast. Life is blissful I must say. =]

Cheerio

What's your number?

So I watched 'What's your number?' today. It's one of those feel good movies, where the girl falls in love with the guy she least expects, he's a diamond in the rough you could say?

Anyways, I guess in a way I had that, I'm not saying I'm at 20, but what I am saying is that I thought I had fallen in love with a guy that wanted to change his ways. I guess with movies, they always end happily ever after, but if the movie had gone on for any longer, life would have happened, and like they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Life goes on right? I think I'm that much closer to becoming the crazy cat lady, something I've definately accepted.

Anything is possible

Since 2011 finished with a bang, mind you, with no 'new years resolution' list made (due to my own commitment issues). I think 2012 is a time for change and to write a list, of achievable goals, so this time, next year, I can reflect and see that maybe I can overcome my commitment issues.

• Overcome commitment issues - DONE, I'm writing a list that forsees my future.
• I'm in my last year of studies, so I hope to complete that this year.
• Learn to swim, I registered for swim classes today!
• New Job - DONE, I start in a couple of weeks.
• No online shopping ... Unless necessary?
• Go overseas - If my school/work timetable allows for it.

I feel my quest will be achievable, as long as a stop saying I will do it, and just do it. Fingers crossed for now I guess.

Time to start writing again....

Many years ago I learnt that writing was a very powerful tool used to express some things that were too difficult to say. I am weak, therefore I am human. I feel I have a disability with the English language and at times dont have the correct words for conversing ...

These days I still manage to find the spare minute or 10 pondering about life and what I can do to make a difference. I don't think I actually want to make a difference, I want life to change me ... for the better.